Muddling Through Life: Many Blunders, Some Wins, and Lessons Learnt.
I did not get to write new posts the last few weeks because I happened to be in the mood for reminiscing about my past. As I looked back at the past seven decades of my life, one thing stood out!
In spite of my so-called intelligence, I realized that I had only been muddling through life somehow, and getting some wins in spite of my many blunders.
My own story reminds me of the bumbling Inspector Clouseau (in the Pink Panther series), who somehow managed to solve his cases by some fluke of circumstance, while all the while aggravating his boss!
In my case, however, it was my family and friends who I aggravated rather than my bosses. When I look back at some of the silly things I have done, and the exasperation I must have caused, it is a wonder to me that my friends and family were able to overlook my attitude and behavior and still care for me. This is a testament to their goodness and grace and their unconditional love, for which I am thankful!
NOTE: This post is thus dedicated to all the friends, colleagues and family members, who have put up with me all this while and given me joy!
My Biggest Blunder in Life:
Trying to Solve Problems using only my Intellect
In Life, Head-Heart Balance is Vital
My first blunder was to become too proud of my so-called intelligence! This feeling was bolstered by my well-meaning parents and teachers in school. I used to do well at studies, being at the top of the class most terms, which brought me much praise. So, I mistakenly assumed that I could use my intelligence alone to solve all my problems!
Because being at the top of the class seemed to be so important to my teachers, my parents and other family members, I began to believe that I had to win all the time in order to be appreciated and respected!
This idea of winning became so ingrained in me that I became too competitive in everything, even in silly arguments. I needed to be right all the time! You can imagine just how this would have got on the nerves of my friends but they accepted me in spite of my faults.
Having a high IQ (intelligence quotient) may be helpful in solving math problems, but in life we need much more than logic and intellect. It was only late in life that I found out the hard way (through many failures), that high IQ alone was not enough for me to live a balanced, fulfilled, happy life!
I did excel in the standard IQ test (in fact I even qualified for the Malaysian Mensa - which is considered to be in the upper 2% bracket of the population)! The reason I even sat for the test at the age of 46 is interesting to say the least.
The Mensa Test
My teenage sons had been complaining about how tough their math classes were. When I told them that math could not be much different from when I was in school they said: "The education during your time must have been simple, which is why you must have done well. Nowadays it is much more advanced!"
So I told them that I would dare to sit for the Mensa test which was coming up, and signed up for it. Somehow, in the end my sons did not get to sit for the test, but I did because of my competitive spirit.
When I went into the hall, I was shocked to find that all the participants were schoolboys and I was the only adult, except for the examiners! Anyway I managed to complete the test and received the Mensa certificate by post some time later. I was also asked to join the Mensa Club but I did not since I was quite happy that I had proven my point to my sons!
I am recounting the story above because I have now learned that a high IQ by itself is no guarantee of success in life - success being what you truly desire. Life is multi-faceted and there are many other types of intelligence that are required if we are to be truly successful on our own terms.
For example, I was sorely lacking in Emotional Intelligence (EQ) which was needed to win friends and get along with people. I guess I was also at the lower end of the scale in Financial Intelligence (FQ) which I needed to avoid money problems, and so on. My 'Spatial Intelligence' (if such a term exists) was not too great either since I could never solve the Rubik Cube, though my son could!
Nowadays, it seems like people have created many more ways to measure intelligence than ever before:
Lately I find that some world renowned companies are using many other means of assessing the competence of their personnel - such as AQ (Adaptability Quotient), CQ (Curiosity Quotient), and even SQ (Spiritual Quotient).
However this seems like overkill to me! In fact I like the following quote which seems very sensible:
"The greatest predictor for success is not intelligence but rather self-discipline." - Angela Duckworth
This unbalanced, left-brain attitude of mine caused me a lot of difficulties both in my career as well as in personal relationships. I would like to recount two personal tales that will illustrate why balancing your head with your heart is important in your career.
Not Following The Heart (My Story):
For example, in school I landed up in the Science Stream because I had good grades in Math, Physics and Chemistry as well as English. Actually, I would have preferred the Arts Stream and gone on to study Psychology, Philosophy or even Literature etc.
Instead, I ended up in the Electrical Engineering field, not because I had any passion for electricity but because I got my first scholarship from the National Electricity Board!
Just one week later I got a Rotary Club scholarship for Mechanical Engineering and another for Civil Engineering from the PWD (Public Works Department). If I had received these scholarships earlier I would have been in a completely different field!
Because I had no passion for the career, I did not excel there, although I was considered competent by my bosses. So, I continued doing shift work in the Power Station for more than 20 years even though I found it mundane and tedious. This is an example of not following our heart in our career, which leads to mediocrity.
Following The Heart (My Brother's Story):
In contrast, my brother also received a Telecom Scholarship but did not accept it! His passion was teaching, so first he took up a temporary teaching position in school, while pursuing his Form 6 (Pre-University) classes at night. He then became a full-time teacher but continued his studies to earn his first degree as well as his Masters degree in Math Education over several years.
Even after about 20 years working in the Education Department, he had never given up on his dream of getting his Doctorate. While working at RECSAM (Regional Centre for Education in Science & Mathematics) in Penang for several years, he was often asked to attend conferences in other countries on behalf of his department.
However, when he was accepted for his Doctorate studies into a Canadian University, his employer refused to give him study leave (even on a no-pay basis)! He was then forced to resign, losing all his pension benefits.
But he remained steadfast in his dream and duly got his PhD after a couple of years. He then worked at a Singapore University for several years before moving to the USA. Now he is a Professor in Math Education at a university there.
(NOTE: When I asked him about having the courage to resign in spite of losing his pension, he told me that while working in Singapore itself, he had already recouped whatever he might have got as pension. So his daring to leave didn't really cost him anything financially in the end!)
This story is an example of following your heart (in spite of obstacles and struggles) to achieve what you really want!
How I Finally Made the Break from a Humdrum Job:
I was sick of working as a Shift Engineer in a Power Station, stuck in a control room on a 3-shift cycle, day after day! So when the National Electricity Board was privatized in 1990 and we were given the option of retiring with full-pension, I took it, although I had to give up the shares I would have received if I had stayed on in the new company.
I was 47 at that time and the first year after leaving was a struggle because I had no idea what I wanted to do. I only knew that I needed to find some income-producing opportunity, as long as it did not mean clocking in day after day!
I tried Life Insurance selling first and then several MLM (Multi Level Marketing) ventures before I was asked by an old colleague who had just joined a new company, to try my hand at Technical Writing. He knew that I enjoyed reading and writing and felt it would be a good fit for me.
I accepted it on a trial basis but insisted that I would not have to punch-clock or work fixed hours. They agreed and I was allowed to work on flexi-hours. During the first few months there I found a natural affinity for learning and writing and enjoyed preparing Operating Procedures for Power Plants.
Because I enjoyed it, I soon found I excelled at it, and within a year or two I was earning several times more than what I was earning at my old job. I remained a Technical Writer for almost 20 years and got to travel to many countries in the course of my work.
I also got to work on some exciting new projects in Malaysia such as the KLIA (KL International Airport), the SMART Tunnel in Malaysia - I believe that it was the first ever Floodwater Mitigation cum Motorway Tunnel in the world!
Lesson Learned
Thus I learned the vital lesson that chasing income alone in our career is never successful, unless our heart is also in it!
At present I have lost interest in Technical Writing and have turned down a couple of offers that I received even in my seventies.
I now prefer to write these blog posts and share some of the lessons I have learnt through my failures as I muddled through life.
Note to Readers:
- In my next post I want to write about another great blunder of mine which caused a lot of unhappiness but also taught me one of the greatest lessons I learnt.
- By the way how about you? Have you made any blunders that helped you learn about life and living. It would be nice to hear about it. So please share in the comments. Thank you.
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